They need the Whore of Babylon

With the Whore of Babylon under contract to John Hagee for the time being, the Chicago White Sox were forced to turn to an inferior substitute:

Coming off an 0-6 road trip when they managed just nine runs, the Chicago White Sox returned home Tuesday and were confronted with more questions about two female blowup dolls than they were about their shaky offense.

Before Sunday's game in Toronto, an unnamed player positioned two nude blowup dolls in the clubhouse with bats of the players fanning out around them - a ritual of sorts to try and get the team out of its slump.

Guys, you can't find serious mojo in an adult bookstore. Hagee may just have one of those used dioramas you can buy cheap...